Chick Flicks: Fun or Flop, Your Choice

Ever feel like choosing movies is a quick way to get to a 3 round argument?  Well, in a nutshell, he is probably launching a preemptive strike in order to protect himself against the chick flick apocalypse: “What do you want to do tonight Billy?” “I don’t know Tina, maybe we can go see the midnight showing of Death Soldier 5?” “Oh Billy your so funny, let’s rent Bridget Jones and snuggle”. O.k. Billy is probably having a bit of a dilemma. On one hand he is cool with staying in, and pumped to snug it out on the couch with his girl. On the other hand he is ready to poke his own eyes out at the thought of having to navigate the impending emotionally loaded conversation that often follows the traditional chick flick.

Ladies, this ball is entirely in your court. We know the facts, you’re not typically going to watch his action/skin flick. We know that you secretly drive the decision making process when it comes to picking movies and given your choice you are going to pick something with a lot more emotional and intellectual substance than a movie about a drunk guy high on cocaine sleeping with hookers and killing people for money. You have many options ladies, as you will see in the Solution to this little dilemma.

Not all relationships are created equal and many of you reading this are realizing that your guy actually picks all the movies, they always suck, and he couldn’t care less about what you want to see. This issue will be tackled in an upcoming article, but will require too much time to tackle right now. So, in the mean while take a deep breathe, advocate for yourself when it makes sense, and watch the movie about the ex-school teacher turned mercenary again.

For the rest of you out there we are going to tackle this thing. We’re going to avoid the brawl and help your guy not go to the emergency room from his anxiety about answering trick questions about feelings, emotions or Bridget’s big panties. Men and women are different (duh), but can meet half way and be all kinds of happy (well we know that half way really means 60-40 in your favor, but whose counting). Check out the Solution.

Chick Flicks: Solution

First off put yourself in his shoes, it’s not hard, you already know what it’s like. You have sat through his favorite comedy about farting several times and hated it. On the other side of the coin he has sat through your drippy tales of love and heartbreak that made him feel like running out in traffic. So spend a minute to develop some empathy around this, and in turn use this same “stand in the other person’s shoes” technique to help him develop empathy for your struggle also. This is going to lay the groundwork for dodging the movie choice show down, tonight and in the future.

Avoid the post movie conversation. It actually turns out that most chick flicks are pretty entertaining and under his rough and tough socialized exterior, he does have feelings. This is good, this means we have something to work with. So what is he avoiding, why the constant push back against the chick flick? HE IS SCARED TO DEATH OF WHAT FOLLOWS THE MOVIE! You start crying, he’s trying to pretend he is not sad or touched or what not, essentially hiding his emotions. Then you start in with a couple of seemingly benign questions aimed at the premise of the movie. You’re fishing for his emotions ladies, you know it, he knows it and it’s a major factor keeping him from wanting to watch chick flicks with you.  Leave him alone after the movie, let him console and care for you, maybe try to make out with you, but let him keep his emotions buried under his ego where they are safe.

Compromise on the content of the movie. Be honest for a minute ladies, there are aspects to his action/skin flick that you like. Sure the bombs, guns and boobs get a little old, but the inherent testosterone filled aggression is a little tantalizing. Let your mind wander, yes, there it is, you know what we mean. When the buff, sweaty, Bond like character is kicking ass or chasing the busty babe around, you secretly feel a little of that primal sexual energy that resides in everyone.  This same premise holds true for him with your chick flick. He is secretly soothed by the sensitivity and nurturing tones that play out in a chick flick. However, the flick needs to have a few key elements: at least one attractive main female character, some underlying sexual innuendo, and a few funny lines. You will be more successful choosing flicks like In The Land of Women or Dirty Dancing rather than Beaches or Steel Magnolias.

Bribe him. If all this fails just pacify him with a cold beer or soda, a pizza and maybe a little full contact snuggle. Men are all part child, Labrador, and football player, capitalize on this when needed.