The Bathroom: Fragrance, Farts or Fun

A lot goes down in the bathroom, some of it is scary, some of it is fun, but all of it important. The seen in How To Loose A Guy In 10 Days where Kate Hudson fills McConaughey’s bathroom with feminine products and McConaughey almost ends up in the psych ward is obviously an exaggeration. However, men and women need to co-exist in this typically very small and sometimes stanky place.

Ever been on your first “stay-in or sleep over” date ladies and felt a grumbling in your belly and new that D-Day was coming. You are going to have to do a hell of a lot more than you planned on in this guys bathroom, what to do?!!!?!!. Maybe you’ve spent the night, and the always hot first full contact co-ed shower with this new guy is about to go down, and there is more mold than water in the shower, WHAT TO DO!!!???!!!!

Well ladies, these aforementioned issues have Solutions, but what about when the problems are for him, in your bathroom, hmmm? Your pristine organized thrown to female prepping, care and pampering can scare your new guy just about to death. Think this sounds crazy? Well as nasty, farty, and crewd as many guys are, they still get nervous in the bathroom with a new girl. Pretend he’s done his business, everything is cool, but now he needs wash up. There is either 300 different little towels all folded so nicely that he is scared to touch them, so he dries his hands on his pants and comes out looking like a sketch ball perve with wet hand prints all over the front of this pants. Or, he tries to use the soap and it is actually your roommate’s lotion (which you hate), now you’re about to make out with a guy that smells like your snatch of a roomy. WHAT TO DO?!!?!!

Now let’s fast forward, your dating, your comfortable and he pisses all over the toilet, craps with the door open and blows his nose on your bathrobe! Remember, it goes both ways ladies. You are over at his place and do your make up, get liquid foundation all over his favorite magazine or half used tube of toothpaste. Maybe you organize his bathroom reading (aka porn) and he now knows that you know that he knows that you know that he maybe spends a little to much quality time in there. AHHH!!!! This whole article is getting dicey, let’s fix this, let’s meet half way at the Solution.

The Bathroom: Solution

D-Day is here.  There are certain things that people really prefer to do in private and will go to some serious lengths to keep private.  However, sometimes biology and nature are not on your side and you need to break a little wind or have devastating explosive diarrhea at a date’s house. Well, although not convenient, there are options. A great way to relieve a little “pressure” is to sneak off to another room, duh, but he might here you (and he really does not want to), so take a seat. Find a nice soft couch or bed to sit on and let it rip. The cushion will hide the sound and trap anything else. This stuff may be hard to talk about, but harder to manage in the moment without the right technique.

Don’t be afraid to retreat. Let’s say things are more complicated, your body is telling you that a little fabric fart is not going to solve things. Maybe you are making out and realize you need to take care of things in the bathroom. You can run the water, utilize a courtesy flush, maybe spritz some perfume or use a bunch of scented lotion to mask your activities. If this is going to be a full-blown situation with many visits to the “powder room”, you may want to leave early. Ya, you like him, he likes you, you want to get it on and not give mixed messages by leaving. Don’t fret, just make the kiss good by nice and hot, and call him in the morning. Better to leave with something left desired, and come back another day to spark things back up.

What to do about the “towels and little soaps gone wild” bathroom? MAKE IT EASY! Put one dingy looking towel up that is clearly separate from the nicely folded, origami like towels. Guys will naturally use the oldest, nastiest towel in the room, that’s what we have at home. Plus, when we see the barrage of little towels and soaps, we start having lovely memories of Grandma. Great memories, just not the kind that gets us in the mood.

Mold City USA. Oh yes, we take some serious credit here. Many guys’ bathrooms are extremely nasty. Well, rule number one when embarking on a little frisky encounter with your new guy in the shower, tub, whatever, is to keep contact with surfaces to a minimum! Don’t sit on the counter, floor, or the shower walls. You hear guys tell stories of the crazy rash, bumps, or funk they caught in a college dorm or fraternity and chances are it’s still kickin it in his bathroom now. So take care of your self, keep your most important parts off of the filth and have fun.