He Hates Your Big Purse

As you have read before, we are all for designer hand bags and NO FAKES! However, we hate giant oversized mega bags. Let’s call it like it is ladies; big purses are the female equivalent of the sports car or jacked up truck for guys. Women engage in pissing contests also, they just do it through fashion instead of cars.

You may want to make an extra big splash when you step on the seen, so you buy the giant Louis bag instead of the standard. You probably justify the extra 300 bucks the big purse will cost by telling yourself you can get more use out of it. However, you are secretly using it as a gian phallic symbol to hang off your arm. Guys look like dummies when they engage in overcompensation and pissing contents and so do you. Here are some tips to help you stay away from the mega purse:

Size is not important (well not exactly). You need to gage how big the purse should be for practicality, but this should have nothing to do with style. A medium sized bag will hold all of your shit and still look good. Guys hate it when their gal is digging through a massive bag filled with nick-knacks and trash to find their keys, cigarettes or condoms.

Choose quality over quantity. Don’t get a lesser brand of purse in a larger size, because it’s what you can afford. Get a high quality designer bag in a modest size. When guys are at the craps table in Vegas and there is gal with a huge low quality diamond on her finger playing right next to a gal with a high quality smaller diamond, they notice the smaller diamond every time. Big and cheap sucks, don’t do it.

Put some of the “purse money” into other accessories. You want to have a complete package. Don’t walk around thinking you are all that when your big ass purse cost a two grand, but your glasses look like hell and your shoes have holes. Spread the wealth around, remember complete package.

Finally ladies, figure out why you feel you need the mega purse. What is lacking in your self image etc. to cause you to feel you need the purse from hell. Spend a minute on you so when you step of the house you are empowered and gorgeous even if you’re in jeans, flip flops and no purse.

Go forth ladies, be strong, be empowered, be you.

-The Guys

Buying A Car:

Stick It To The Man

Oh the dreaded day you need to buy a car. Most women would rather run out in traffic or fall off a bridge than deal with some sleaze bag prick car dealer. We ran a survey a few months back to see what topics women wanted us to cover; car buying was in the top three. We actually thought the dread women feel about buying cars was over done, apparently not. 

So here’s the deal. You can go into a car dealership or buy a car from a private person in one of two ways. One, you can be totally intimidated, uninformed and get screwed on the whole thing. The other, you get informed, get pumped and kick some ass! Below are a few tips to help you be the empowered, intellegent and strong woman you are:

1. Make Some Decisions Before You Look For A New Ride

Decide what you want in a vehicle — the features, body style, pricing, etc. — before you visit a dealer’s showroom. Stereotypical prick faced dealers will try to sell you a vehicle they want you to buy rather than what you want or need.

2. Know Your Stuff

Use the internet to research cars before you visit retailers. Check out dealer invoice pricing and the prices people are asking for specific models. To find comparisons on a car you currently own and want to trade for a new one, consult Kelley Blue Book used-car values.

3. The Salesperson Is Not Your Friend

Remember: The salesperson is there to make money; he’s not there to be your friend. Even if he’s your uncle, your cousin or the guy next door, never lose sight that, first and foremost, he’s looking out for his commission.

4. Get Preapproved

Get preapproved by your local bank or credit union before you go to the showroom. By doing so, you’ll know how much car you can buy for your money, and there’s an excellent chance you’ll secure a better interest rate at your personal financial institution than through the manufacturer’s credit arm.

5. Avoid Impulse Buying

At all costs, avoid impulse buying when purchasing a vehicle. Never let the salesperson know just how much you desire a specific vehicle. That knowledge puts the entire sales process in his court.

6. Bring Someone With You

Bringing a friend or partner with you can really help you take your time. You can step away together and discuss the situation. You can also have “save me” words that you can say to let your friend know that it is time to get you out of there.

Hope this helps you be more empowered and confident when you step out to buy a car. Your boyfriend or husband will love you for knowing all this stuff also. He may pretend like he knows his ass from a whole in the ground, but he probally doesn’t. Most guys are not as savey about cars as they were a couple decades back.

Good luck.

-The Guys

Web Celeb or iJustine Wannabe?

So you’re on Twitter, you’ve got a Facebook page, you have a pretty face, SO WHAT??!!! Just because you have proclaimed yourself “web fab” doesn’t mean you are. The net already has an iJustine. For better or worse she is a bonafide celebrity, we don’t need 60,000 wannabes. Everyday we encounter women popping up on social networking sites posting their latest word vomit about their last cup of coffee, cute purse, or trip to the ladies room hoping to be the next web phenomena. Unfortunately, these half-baked efforts at pseudo fame are only flooding the Internet with ditzy un-empowering stereotypes.

We recently caught up with Macala Wright an Interactive Marketing Strategist for Fashion Brands and author of the popular social media/internet/marketing blog FahionablyMarketing.Me to give us a professional perspective on how women can become a web celeb with poise, grace and intelligence. Check it out:

Women who use social media to become micro celebrities aren’t the women you’ll find in the C-Suite ten years from now. When a woman uses social media to promote her skills and knowledge, she has to have long term view of what she wants to accomplish and has to ask herself, “How is this going to get me to where I want to be in five or ten years?” The answer needs to be taken into account from day one of launching any online.

Want to establish a professional persona online; here are five things every woman must have:

 

1. Be Authentic & Transparent – Let people see your motives and your intentions; just be you. By doing this, you automatically enable people to trust you.
2. Be Memorable – Move to the beat of your own drummer. Write what represents you, even if you disagree with someone/something. Share your reasons why, just do it in a positive, professional manor and provide supporting documentation. People will respect thought out theories and opinions.
3. Show, Don’t Tell! – Don’t tell your audience how great you are; show them. Don’t be ashamed of showing your expertise and sharing your work. Share case studies, share your successes, show photos, create podcasts, write a blog, guest blog - whatever it takes to show what you’ve and what the results were. Also consider not talking about yourself and your work all the time; if someone else catches your eye, write about them or interview them.
4. Be Inspirational – Women connect with other women. We have stories; family, kids, suffer from diseases and dreams. Don’t be afraid to show humanity or engage with others. Show empathy; @AmberCadabra says “sometimes all it takes is a few kind words. Kindness matters.” She’s right, it does. Being approachable and open will make people want to engage with you.
5. Empower: Make sure your online content contributes to the education and growth of your audience. Give them tools to grow their business or achieve their goals. I’ll guarantee you’ll solidify yourself as an industry expert (two great examples are @briansolis and @chrisbrogan). Want to take it to the next level? Provide content that’s not just the broad overview. Provide in depth strategy and implementation advice and share possible expected results.

 

Women Worth Following on Twitter

 

1. Tara Hunt - @MissRogue
2. Nicole Jordan - @NicoleJordan
3. Erica O’Grady - @EricaOGrady
4. Cyan Banister - @Cyantist
5. Yuli Ziv - @YuliZ
6. Jessica Gottlieb - @jessicagottlieb

Hope Macala’s tips help you as you (or your alter ego) try and make a mark on the social media seen. Get out there, make it happen, empower yourself, and try not to look like Chrissy Snow from Three’s Comany.

-The Guys

For more great information and tips on marketing yourself in a Web 2.0 era, get over to FashionablyMarketing.Me.

Break ups don’t have to be totally F**ked. There are ways to make them successful. We are not here to give you tips on how to help your inept boyfriend do a better job when he breaks up with you. Women spend way too much time falling into the role of guidance counselor and mother to their partners whenever something emotional (like a break up) is happening. Instead we are going to give you some tips on how to break things off with your man and do so with class.

There are definitely right and wrong ways to break up with someone. The right ways leave your pride and your humanity intact. They allow your now ex-sweetie to walk away bruised, but not broken. The wrong ways may feel great if you’re really pissed at your BF, but, in the long run, they hurt him and you more than necessary.

The first step is to really figure out why you want to call it off. Maybe he is a scumbag loser. Maybe there are problems that you have tried to solve together and cannot. Maybe your not in love or the attraction is gone. These are all sound reasons for ending it. Breaking up to run from minor problems in the relationship is not.

Next step is to map out a plan. Go over all the scenarios that could play out. Is he going to cry like a baby and blubber non stop? Will be go totally crazy and run out in traffic? Hopefully he will handle the situation maturely and accept things. Whatever the case is, you need to deliver in a clear manner a couple straight forward reasons why you are breaking up. Be very very clear and concise.

Now it’s time to drop the bomb. Do it in person, no phone calls, emails, texts or messenger birds. When you do pull the trigger it is very important to deliver the information and avoid having too much emotionally charged conversation. When a lot of time is spent rehashing things over and over, both of you can start to lose focus and that’s when things get ugly. Make sure you are sincere and truthful in your delivery and break it off completely. Do not soft sell him and tell him that you need time to think, that is just a copout.

Finally, stick to it. Don’t get lonely and call him a week later. No drunken 2 AM booty calls. Remember back to when some clown has done this to you in the past, ya, it sucks. You need to give it ample time before you speak or have any contact. You both need time to grieve. 

Good luck ladies.

-The Guys

From our window here in San Francisco, we must see at least 25 women a day in ridiculously oversized sunglasses that make them look like a giant bug or 70’s disco freak. Back and forth on the sidewalk there are women young and old with every brand of sunglasses you can think of. Chanel, Dior, Oliver Peoples, Rayban, it doesn’t matter, if they are too big you will look terrible. Most women do a fantastic job choosing sunglasses that make them look chic and stylish. This article is aimed at the 25 women (or more!) we see daily from our office window in Bono’s old shades.

We get that you want give your look a little celebrity splash, but you must get shades that fit your face and your style. One of the oldest running jokes is that some women think if they get a bad bleach job and huge designer shades they will be the next Paris Hilton or Lohan. Come on ladies, the goal of wearing stylish and trendy accesories is to make yourself look attractive, so let’s look at some pointers from The Guys on how to pick out some shades.

Oval faces: Almost any frame shape works for this face as long as the frame size is proportionate to the size of the face.
Suggestions: Any frame shape.

Round faces: Frames should make the face appear longer and thinner. Look for frames with straight or angular lines that are equal to or slightly wider than the broadest part of the face. Higher temples will create a longer profile and pull the eye upward, making the face appear longer.
Suggestions: Wider frames with angular/rectangular styles in darker colors.

Square faces: Frames should soften the facial features. Look for frames that have soft curves or an oval or round shape. The top of the frames should sit high enough on the face to downplay the jawline. Aviators work well on this face shape.
Suggestions: Oval or round frames that are thin.

Oblong faces: Long, narrow faces are similar to square faces. Maximize face length with frames that cover as much of the center of the face as possible, and widen/shorten the face by choosing frames that do not extend past the widest part of the face.
Suggestions: Round or square frames.

Heart faces: Frames with a thin rim and a flat line across the top will help balance the bottom part of the face. Frames should not sit too high on the face. Avoid large frames, heavy nose bridges, and square shapes.
Suggestions: Cat eyes or oval frames with a straight top line.

Large nose: Large oversize frames are recommended for balance. Small frames will make the nose stand out.
Long nose: Frames with high sidebars draw attention upward toward the temples and away from the nose.
Small nose: A high bridge lengthens a short nose.

Always with love,

-The Guys

To Play Or Not To Play

Whether you like it or not the obnoxious games of who calls who, how many days and at what time to call, do I leave a voicemail, and text or no text are ALL HERE TO STAY. Everyone runs around saying they don’t like to play games, but truth be told they have become an important courting ritual. The way you play the phone game can mean the difference between seeming hard to get or desperate.

Guys and gals struggle with this equally. In our own experiences and research on this article it is clear that most people don’t know the basic rules of the game. You may be reading this thinking we are idiots and you would never dream of playing stupid reindeer games like this. Well ladies picture this: You meet a guy out at a party, he asks for your number, he’s hot, your pumped. Now, he doesn’t call you for 4 days, where does this leave you? It probably makes you nervous and anxious pondering the the 800,000 reasons why he hasn’t called. How about the other way around? He actually calls, but calls you at 9 am the next day. Hmmmm, you are probably thinking this guy is a stalker or crazy party guy that is still up from the night before. Either way it’s dicey. 

Us guys go through this same crappy situation every time we get a number, go on a date or (if we are fortunate) a girl asks us for our number. We all hate it, but need it. Here are the ground rules.

Don’t call to soon, but don’t drag it out to far. It’s a delicate balance, so here are some safe time frames: If you meet a guy and get his number, wait one full day to call him. If you go on a first date and it seems like it went well, wait for him to call for 2 days before calling him.

Be careful with voice-mails. Don’t ramble on, keep it short and sweet. “Hey Jimmy it’s Carla, give me call back when you get this, bye.” Don’t leave questions, ideas, options or anything else that can be subjective. Do all of your talking live, not on voicemail.

Try not to text. Texting is tough, because you cannot tell peoples tone. A text may seem brash or curt when it was really meant to be the opposite. The subtleties of the conversation that let you know that romance is brewing cannot be communicated over text very well. 

Reciprocate. If he calls you call him back. Don’t be a fool and put all kinds of added steps and stress into this that are not needed. Further if he texts you, then text him back. If he emails you, email him back. If he calls…you get the idea. 

Finally, know when to cut it loose. If he doesn’t call you back after many days (i.e. a week), you can give one last call just to make sure he didn’t lose your number. Then cut it. If he doesn’t call back promptly after this, it’s over.

Good luck out there ladies. Remember to go easy the guys, we are just a bunch of Labradors trying to fumble through life.

Communicating With Men:

Ships Passing or

Nuclear Fallout 

Are men and women different? Absolutely. Our differences are what make it possible to find love or have a quick romp in the bushes. However, these differences can also cause a 3 round fight over nothing. Men and women communicate differently on some very fundamental levels. Trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong, is a waste of time. We need to look at the factors that cause communication meltdowns in order to stop them from happening.

One of The Guys was given a mind blowing, life-changing piece of advice a few years back. He was told that women need men to be empathetic and to join in a woman’s feelings during communication. He was subsequently told that instead of doing this, men tend to jump in and try and problem solve solutions rather than join in the anger, sadness, or whatever emotion is on the table. It was as if he saw Moses part the sea or Tom Cruise land on earth with the aliens. So we are going to try help you navigate some of the typical communication pitfalls that you probably experience with guys all the time.

Starting real early in life the wires get crossed; boys are taught to go break toys and get in fights and girls are taught to play cooperatively with each other in their Sunday dress. So after this, we are essentially screwed (no pun intended, but it’s there if you look). We need to always remember that the playing field is full of landmines that are not going away. We just need to learn to avoid them.

It’s important to keep in mind that men are usually, typically, generally, OK always, engaged in a pissing contest. Men communicate 99% of the time with the goal of establishing and maintaining dominance. This is not done maliciously, we were taught to do this. Whether during sports, fighting, breaking toys, or dating EVERYTHING guys are taught is about who can piss the farthest. Women on the other hand tend to be more egalitarian, or rule by consensus. Both have ups and downs to them.

Now that we have painted a picture of the battlefield and why it is so bloody, let’s look at some tips:

Don’t force him to talk things out immediately. If he needs time give it to him. Emotions can run high, let them cool down. Men do not use emotions in the same way as women.

Pick your battles. By giving in on a battle today it will save some of your soldiers for something that is truly important to you in the future.

Say what’s on your mind, but not everything all the time. Again, men don’t tend to process or utilize emotion in the same way as women. Your BFF may love to hear every nuance of the frustration you have with your guy, but he doesn’t. Remember he is constantly in a pissing contest. If he feels blind sided or attacked he will go into Tonka trunk mode and you won’t get him back.

Don’t generalize. Saying things like “you always” and “you never” will just set him on the defense and lead you down a road to no where.

Now ladies, some of you are reading this and getting mad. If that is your case, then you need to go out in the yard, break a Tonka truck and read the article again. Obviously, there are about 1000 things guys need to do to have better communication with women. If your guy needs some tips, just tell him to set up a tea party then read this article in reverse. It should work.

-The Guys

(Is the romance in your relationship drying up?

Don’t get to comfortable.)

No no, we are not taking some weird plunge into people’s bizarre secrets of incest and bad dreams (Freud doesn’t work here); we are talking about never forgetting that your boyfriend, husband, whom ever, is your lover and not your brother, cousin or weird uncle. As the guys here at PBG start to be around more and more married or long term couples, we’ve noticed that many of them start dressing like slobs, farting more than kissing, and generally turning into complacent unromantic slouches.

Obviously this romance turned slob contest is typically more the guy’s fault, so please save your hate emails for another day. Everyone (women too) starts to get comfortable over time and tend to slip a nose pick, belch, or fart in every now and then. However, when people start wearing the nothing but warn out sweats, ripping farts at dinner and pooping in front of each other, the romance will take a nose dive into the depths of hell never to return. Think back to when you started dating, you didn’t crap his bathroom apart on the first date, wear a pair of worn out panties or complain about how heavy your flow was that month (check out our “Bathroom” article).

“No stained, worn out droors, grandma’s moo moo

or Saturday slob sweats.”

So what to do about all of this? First off, remember that you are an attractive sexual woman, so carry yourself as such. No stained, worn out droors, grandma’s moo moo or Saturday slob sweats. This is for you just as much as it is for him. The more you keep yourself feeling sexy and taken care of the better you will feel about yourself. Next, don’t let him be a slob either! If you give him an inch around farting in the bed, laying on the couch in his shitty boxers and belching every 20 minutes, he will take 10 miles. You can remind him that you are in a romantic relationship. You can tell him that you are a woman and expect to be treated with respect. Finally, work on keeping a healthy sexual relationship. Keep the sexual energy alive that you had in the beginning. Obviously most couples slow down in sex land as the relationship wears on, but it shouldn’t come to a halt. Capitalize on spontaneous moments, sneak a peak, cop a feel and find time for a quickie here and there.

Always with love. Stay empowered.

-The Guys

Jenny “The Bloggess”

We went for the jugular for our very first Woman Of The Month. We managed to nail down Jenny aka “The Bloggess”. Who is Jenny The Bloggess? Jenny is a woman, a writer, a mom, a wife and is not scared to bare her soul and tell you to F-Off in the process. She is loved by her fans and respected by both men and women alike. Her ability to laugh at herself, laugh at you, and share her feelings at the same time makes her an inspiration to everyone. Further, we love a confident woman that can kick us in the groin, and buy us a drink after. Here is the interview with The Bloggess (aka Ninja Eagle):

PBG| A fan of yours was quoted as saying “I love Jenny. If I am about to freak out, start crying or want to run out in traffic because things are getting to be too much, she is always there. Not there, there, but her blog is always there. I read it, laugh, and feel better. She really gets how to put all the crazy shit many women feel, but don’t say, on paper and make it funny as hell.”

What is your response to reading that?

Jenny| I have spent my entire life being the weird kid standing in the periphery. Even my school year books are filled with “You’re weird. Have a great summer”. Then I started blogging and found thousands of other outcasts who all thought they were the only ones who had bizarre thoughts about ninjas and considered naming their dog “my vagina”. My blog is much less about what I write and much more a gathering place for the bizarre, disenfranchised masses to come together and realize we’re not alone.  Also, I suspect that I wrote that quote you just mentioned myself. That’s exactly the kind of thing I’d do.

PBG| What tips do you have for women who want to start writing, whether it is a blog, book, journal or graffiti on the freeway?

Jenny| Be honest and don’t write anything you can’t defend. Or, be prepared to blame it on someone else. Don’t use your real name. Wear the same color as whatever it is you’re graffiti-ing and put on gloves, otherwise you’ll get a paint dot on your finger from pushing the spray paint and that’s “evidence”.

PBG| What is it like being both a mom and a writer extraordinaire?

Jenny| I wouldn’t say I do either “extraordinarily”. I constantly misspell stuff and I can’t use an apostrophe correctly to save my life. My kid is awesome and well-adjusted, but she knows far too much about blogging for a 4-year old. In the end, I consider it an accomplishment if I’ve written something entertaining once a week and the house didn’t catch on fire. It’s all about managing expectations. And not using the oven.

PBG| Here is a scenario: A 20 something year old woman is anxious and scared to share her feelings of unhappiness in her relationship with her husband. He is a normal guy, not crazy.  What advice would you give her?

Jenny| Is she unhappy because he’s a normal guy and not crazy? Because honestly that seems like it’s more her problem than his. She should probably see a therapist. Until then her husband might want to try to push her out of a moving car. One of my crazy exes did that once and it totally cured me of wanting crazy. After that I only dated Republicans and people who were on less antidepressants than me.
 

PBG| Who are some famous women you admire and why? Actresses, politicians, whomever.

Jenny| I’ve always admired witty women who weren’t afraid to be blunt, coarse, smart or ridiculous while still being able to admit that they loved a cute pair of shoes. Dorothy Parker, Tina Fey, Anais Nin, Isis, Cher, Eddie Izzard….the usual.

PBG| And for fun, who are some famous women that annoy you and why?

Eleanor Roosevelt, because she’s always right. And also that girl who sang “We Built this City on Rock and Roll”. I fucking hate that song.

If you want more of Jenny you can find her at thebloggess.com and now on PNN where she is helping you solve your problems one earth shattering question at a time. Thank you Jenny, we fucking love you and are so glad you are our first (Woman Of The Month, that is).

-The Guys

Yes, this is Jenny.

To Rihanna:

Celebrity Self-Help

“Oh Chris, you know your my boo. That thing where you smashed and bludgeoned my face? Ah, no big deal. Just try not to do it again baby.”

WAKE THE F**K UP RIHANNA!!! HE WILL DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN!!! This was not a little (still unacceptable) slap, he broke your whole face. This kind of abuse is insane and completely disgusting. What is more disgusting is that you took him back. Here you are, a wealthy successful woman that millions of young girls and women look up to. You are teaching everyone of them that it is OK for some asshole to treat them like shit and beat them like a piece of trash. DAMNIT RIHANNA! 

We work so hard on this site and in our lives to help women become more empowered, independent, and confident. You were the kind of woman we wanted young women to look up to. Now you are working against The Guys here at PBG and women everywhere. You are not to blame for what happened to you. It is not your fault that Chris beat you like a cheap punching bag, nor that you likely had experiences as a child that lead you to these types of relationships. But you ARE to blame for bringing women down everywhere by getting back together with your aggressor. 

Why are you staying with him? People all over want to know “Why does Rihanna stay with Chris Brown?”, “Why did Rihanna get back together with Chris Brown?”. Unless you tell us Rihanna we won’t know. Many women fall into these abusive relationships and stay for a multitude of reasons. Some stay out of fear, “What will he do if I leave”. Some stay for pity, “He is worse of than me”. Some stay for the kids. Some stay for love, confusing pain and abuse for love. Some stay for money and support. There are as many reasons as there are days in the year Rihanna. You need to figure out why you stay. It probally has something to do with a low self image, coupled with a history of abuse somewhere in your life. We are empathetic about these issues, but you need to get help and rise above. Your fans from 5 years old to 60 need you to show them that a women of your fame, wealth and stature can break the chain. You MUST rise above, break the cylce of abuse, and show the world that you are an empowered women. Otherwise, women in abusive relationships everywhere are going to feel more alone and powerless than ever.

First steps to helping yourself, a little Celebrity Self-Help if you will, is to get support. Support from a therapist or other neutral party is extremely important. When people are in abusive relationships, it is hard for them to take the advice of friends and family objectively. Call a group that will help you get out of this bullshit relationship. SNBW and BWSS are there, waiting for you to call. The hand is always there. Get help with your domestic violence situation before you end up dead. Reel it in Rihanna, quit being a dummy about this.

Please hear what we have said Rihanna.

With love and support,

-The Guys

P.S. Chris Brown is a piece of shit.